The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe


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I- CHILDREN AT PLAY (drama)

More likely it was just the imagination of a bunch of kids. With out needing to be spoken, we all knew that there was probably something living inside that old house. Not a person, but something. Hanging in the silence, you could taste the fear of the dozen or so kids.. To this day I am sure I saw something move inside the house.

I yelled a warning, some said it was more a scream to my fellow soldiers, and with one unified scream, a dozen small children, ages 6 to 10 ran for their lives through the dark and unmarked trail going through the woods. Their was a crash from the house, and we all knew we were about to be eaten by witches. The faster we ran, the more noise and terrible gnashing of teeth from behind us, thus stimulating even greater speed from us. In an attempt to reestablish my place as leader in the front of the pack. I was gently moving aside the smaller and slower of the cousins, with the agility of a trained athlete, and the finesse of a ninja.

I burst from the trees into the light of the sun.. I had considered stopping and turning to see who and what was left of the cousins. I was amazed that my feet had their own ability to think and respond outside of my own request. I took off like a flaming goat, and yes, flaming goats are terribly fast. As I headed across the clearing I looked over my shoulder, and saw cousins going in every direction, a sight that may of looked quite funny if we were not in such a panic. Just as I was about to slow down, I saw. It was huge, and had a terrible look of death in its huge brown eyes, and large horns upon its head to impale us..

I knew it was going to get us all, drag us to the house, where it would consume us one at a time.. I never new such fear. I fell, trying to hurdle a 5 foot fence at full gallop. Not easy to do when one is only 4 foot tall. Once I stopped bouncing, I turned around and faced the creature. Other than the screaming.

I was quite graceful. We had to go explore this house. We had to conquer our fears, and control our shaky bladders and go bravely into this dark and foreboding place. We had to. Stealthily we went into the woods, and with great quite we approached the house.

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The noise of the younger cousins whimpering and hanging onto our legs and being dragged behind us made strangely little noise. It was almost as if we were in a void of noise. The quite was with out sound of birds or wind. Mustering courage I did not know I had. I climbed upon the porch. I wiped away the dirt. I saw a room with little furniture, and the chaos and dirt of long abandonment. The cousins one at a time joined me on the porch. The unknown. My heart was racing like never before.

I could see colors like I never saw before. I could smell and hear and feel things. I was ultimately aware for the first time in my life.. This was the beginning of my addiction to adrenaline, and I wanted more. We decided to enter the house. The door was locked from within. The crash of glass.

Now we had done it. What ever IT was.. From now till I die, I will never forget that sound. I ran. I ran like never before. I was flinging brush and vine and branch aside as I ran for my life. I could feel its terrible breath upon my neck, I could hear my cousins screaming in pain from the beast claws. God has blessed me graciously in many ways. I was way ahead of the fleeing cousins. With my eyes set wide open. I sensed it behind me.

I heard the growling and the terrible noise of rushing air as it breathed in great ragged gasps behind me. I clear the trees and enter the safety of the sunlit clearing. From the moment I had taken flight, time had stopped.

Witches (Discworld)

I had been filled with terror as I ran blindly through the woods, and now.. I learned a great lesson that day. After picking my self up off the clearing, and brushing off the various sized foot prints off my back. I stood calmly pulling the sand-burrs from my face and hands while the cousins continued running in circles screaming,. I knew they would stop running eventually, and my pride as leader and oldest was not ready to let them see how shaken I had been.

After taking a head count, we discovered one cousin was missing. We at first thought of going back home, and pretending Billy had never been with us. Billy who? While in desperate discussion of what excuse to use, we looked around, and saw a path torn into the cornfield opposite the clearing. After everybody had adjusted there courage, and taken a much-needed leak upon the fence.


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Again we went into the dark woods, two dozen scared kids taking the space of three we were walking so close. After gaining access through the window. After a very thorough search, of the whole of the house. We had destroyed the enemy, and discovered no demons or witches.

The Witches

So, we made a pact to not tell the parents or grandparents where we were, or what we had been doing, and every Sunday that we were all here. And we did. Over the next couple of summers, we gradually destroyed the house. Every window was broken in some form of combat with an enemy. The plaster walls were torn apart by machinegun fire, or mortar rounds. Doors ripped off by bombs and bullet. Holes torn completely through outside wall through inside wall.

The house after two years or so, and hundreds of battles was showing its age. Holes in ceiling and roof had let water from rain and snow into the house. Rotting and sagging floors and ceilings made for a very dangerous obstacle to maneuver our way around the house. We had explored every nick and cranny of the house.

The rooms were not large. Upstairs there were 4 rooms, and an attic that was accessible through a very neat little trap door. There was not a room, a closet, or a crawl space in the house we were not aware of. My cousin Jerry, who is older by a year my, my brother Roger, and I think cousin Danny, all decided to climb out a window and go on the roof, which we did often. The house stood 2 and a half stories high, with one long roof line, and two gables off either side. Cousin Jerry and I were the strongest of the cousins, and we slid down the roof from the corner of roof and gable, to the chimney.

Roger stood over the other side of the main roofline, out of harms way, and Danny was sitting on the highest peak throwing rocks at the cousins below us in the woods. There were cousins running every where. The chimney was old. Placing our feet against the roof behind us, and pushing with our shoulders against the chimney, it swayed slightly, but did not move. I mean… you all keep acting like it was nothing.

Read a sample from THE WITCH’S KIND

And I just kept waiting and waiting. Go to this house? Cross reference some lists? Meet some old people?

Interview With The Witch Doctor - The Sun Magazine

I worked with that lad Andrew and he was nice enough—bit daft though—and that was it. I would have charged, at most, a grand for this kind of work. Is bringing the dead back like… like what? A party trick? Instantly the woman grinned, and turned to Ian with a pleasant look of surprise. Is that what happened to Andrew? Magic made him do those things? It was a magic curse that made him do things against his will. In this case she made him want to do things to his children that were out of character.

Andrew committed suicide in an animal shelter. Was she cursed by this Evelyn too? By the time we realised where Annabelle had gone, and who with, it was too late. Evelyn had her hidden away behind all sorts of rumours and riddles. The building that came into view as the car rounded the long and isolated drive was nothing but some rotten beams and jagged, charred, stone that jutted upwards out of the ground. As they approached the building Ian heard the woman gasp as the headlights brought into view some rusted brown and red graffiti that reached to the highest point of the crumbling walls.

An ominous silence befell the woman, and trying to help ease her mind Ian told her,.

A girl? A corpse? She then turned on her torch, and kicked the car door open and left. Ian remained behind for a second or two, and muttered, quietly, to himself,. It was raining heavily, and difficult to see, but they both had torches that made them each a glowing beacon amidst the darkness. Ian lightly jogged ahead until he had caught up with the woman, who was standing by a waist high wall. She was leaning over it and shining her light down towards the rotten oak floor.

Occasionally the light would cut through the gaps in the beams of wood and reveal some dust, or water that dripped into a chasm below, but it was too transient and fleeting for anything real to be seen. She just kept staring at the floor below. Ian would have asked more, but he felt increasingly anxious. It was around three-feet high, and untouched by plants or animals. As the woman continued to shine her light below Ian took some more time to look up towards what remained of the walls, and roof, and found himself unsettled by the absence of life.

The church was a place of desolation, and stank of hopelessness and fear. There was a tangible sense of loss present in every nook and cranny. Ian pushed these thoughts from his mind, and decided to keep looking towards the ground, until he finally noticed a small gap in the wooden planks somewhere near the edge of the piled furniture. He tapped the woman on the arm and pointed towards it, before quickly scaling the wall and walking, carefully, across the wet and slippery floor.

There he managed to wrestle one of the pulpits out of the hole to reveal a neat tear that lead down into the chasm below. He shone his light downwards and highlighted only the rain water that cascaded down between the cracks. They look like shapes. And the drawings bigger than a house. How in hell did she even get to the walls? How did she reach them? But he found that he could not move his feet.

He shone his light towards the woman who, while clearly crying, was also furiously rummaging through her bag. God… no wonder she nearly sank the church. All this time with nothing but… but dirt. Dirt and pain. Terrified he shone his flashlight all around him trying to understand what was happening. He looked back towards the woman who now held a small bell in her hands.

He waited anxiously, his light furiously trying to see something from the chasm below. He was terrified, and he knew he was about to die. The woman grew concerned, and looked behind her towards the car, then back towards the bell in her hand which she rang again, and again. Out of nowhere, from beneath the Earth below, came two gigantic columns of marble coloured flesh.

Quickly enough she had skewered the screaming woman on her nails, and yanked her with a terrifying speed and ferocity back into the soil below. Horrified, but relieved, Ian tried to process what he had just seen. Suddenly, he began to laugh. He had been betrayed, and saved at the last moment only by serendipity! He was thankful that the woman, who had so clearly intended to feed him to the monstrous Annabelle, had been caught instead by her own trap. It was brilliant. He turned to leave when he noticed, once more, that his leg could not move. He shone his light at his foot and tried to move it, but still could not.

He had thought that whatever curse the woman had put upon him would have been lifted with her death, but he quickly realised that was not the case. Desperate, he placed the flashlight down so that the beam glared into the abyss below, and pulled with great strength and difficulty. After minutes of work he noticed he had moved his foot by about an inch, which offered him some hope. But in his hysterical lifting he had not paid much attention to his surroundings. And so when he turned his head quickly during the struggle and glanced at the hole in the floor, it came as a shock to see the warped, and plump rotting face of a woman embedded in a white wall of veiny flesh.

The skin that surrounded her and obscured everything behind her was distended and coated in crusted puss and layered with unending boils and filth. She chewed aimlessly on soil coated gore that trickled down her chin, and her eyes were a faded white with scratched and pale corneas that lacked direction. As she chewed thoughtlessly she also sniffed at the air with a curiosity. Ian was dead still, and watched her intently, desperately trying to not make a move.

The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe
The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe The Witch Said No Because She Had a Smelly Toe

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