As for the bright side, leave it to priests, parents, and teachers…. Two mothers-in-law. Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. The audience then leaves the theatre, the reader closes the book, being deeply touched and happy, hoping for the same good fortune. Better blame society, which does its best to disorient us from grasping the real point… In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy.
The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. You can also find her on Facebook. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. All Basketball Soccer. The Enduring Philoxenia of the Greek People. Culture Books Life.
If you do not agree with these terms and conditions, please do not use this website. Huh every point rings a bell…. Two girls, 8 and 5, moving with me to my original country, and daddy is moving to a third country to work. Daddy remains on skype and will come sometimes …poor kids. I have to readjust to my country which has enourmously changed in 9 years, find a job and live with my parents. Good luck to everyone with international marriages. I think apart from all these enlisted problems, it can be really rewarding and interesting — but everyone needs to be veeeery aware of these difficulties before entering.
Not to be nosy but I suspect you were married to an Arab guy. And it is a good thing because I would have killed the bastard! I hate any male that even raises his voice at a woman let alone hurts one! Hi, good luck with your relationship. Sorry if I am late to post my comment. I was actually searching for something else and I read 10 reasons why not to marry …… and I had to answer or least give my opinion!
First , I am American and my wife is Japanese. We have been married for 16 years next month is our anniversary:. True love only comes around once and if your lucky twice. We fell in love at first sight! Differences are beautiful. It opens your mind well at least mine to being open minded and not carrying about what the world thinks of us :.
We have the most wonderful time when we do visit our family. Our world is as small as we let it! Your kids will be more understanding to others and less racist! We are all humans:. And as my book reads a flower in the city which is about this very same topic. When you ask God for someone to Love as I did I was thinking of a beautiful person within my race but God gave me what I asked for and what he thought so needed and the same goes for you all.
Marriage is for the devoted and strong and the ones who found that special someone to share life with and love no matter the circumstances! Those years passed by so fast with us. I also taught my son about Japanese history so when someone calls him mixed he will explain what he is mixed with including the different races that The Japanese people of today are mixed with lol! Cheers to all who marries out of Love!
What a wonderful post. I too asked God to send someone but he was not from America. I love him dearly. May God bless you and your wonderful family. Your viewpoint on the international marriages is profoundness. Yes with the love and respect between both of you is more important. The children are attractive. The Asian cultures have more disciplined on the children of learning and to become sussessful.
I married to my husband who is an U S citizen. We had a lot deferent appinions but the end of the day we try to take what ever it is right and common sense. My son had a good job and married to a wonderful American girl. She is a school teacher. On another hand, because we live in the U S my son is toltaly Americanize. Tx for sharing your story Judit!
He speaks good English but communication is a challenge for us. His way of communicating is saying work was good, family is and is all good. He then called and nothing changed. He thinks because he is my husband he deserves everything and has to earn nothing.
I feel like he puts zero effort in making this work. Marrying a foreigner is no joke and I wish I would have been more careful when I made my decision. All I can say is every person, and every marriage is different. If someone is considering that just think hard before you your decision and what is happening to me and my husband will no necessarily happen to you. International Marriage is a tough one, and I agree with most of your list.
I think European marriage is slightly easier and less costly to visit your family at least! So the kids are extremely lucky to have both sets of grandparents only a short drive away. I absolutely agree with you, Michelle. My best friend married foreigner too and she has exactly the same problems.
Plus different religions. All of these are very on point!! I am from the U. Luckily we live right across the street from my mother we can wave to each other from our own houses!! I am happy that you are so understanding to visit his family so often. God will definitely reward you for this. We are not going to be here for ever. So, keep it up. Your children will respect you for this. My husband and I have struggled for a long time. Loneliness is the most difficult element in the relationship. I am quite an independent person and can find my way quite easily — I built a life on my own — but no matter how much I invest, a part of me will never be accepted, not even in my own home.
Having said all of this, looking back I would probably do it again … all of the points listed are very well known to me … the funny part is that I ended up with a job at the university working with foreign students who share the points on the list even though not married. Having my own personal experiences has made me an ideal person for my position.
Being an international couple living in a third country Iceland , I totally relate with these challenges. I make it a habit to have a yearly compilation of the best videos and pictures of our 4-year old child so that our families and friends are at least up to date even from afar. All these challenges make it very entertaining to raise our multilingual child and be a multicultural family. If there is any way I can contact you through email I would like to ask you question about how you make it work especially, the fact that you and your husband speak different languages.
If you read this and reply back to me I will greatly appreciate it! We are also a family of two foreigners living in a third country. But the language issue is definitely something to think about, especially when it comes to any future children. Both my husband and I have languages that are different from the majority language where we live. In the long term? Yes, absolutely! In the very beginning?
Tricky question. Cultural differences can be hard to navigate at first. Our first year together was all about compromise and figuring stuff out — like me convincing him that walking alone did NOT mean that I was going to get kidnapped. Absolutely yes yes yes…great post and very true. We also have those problems as a multicultural marriage he is Pakistani,I am Polish but still manage to be a happy one. I always say that if other people had to work through the types of questions my husband and I had no choice but to work through before they ever got to their first date much less their first wedding anniversary, there would be a lot more solid marriages around.
There is nothing like a discussion of potentially grilling out fajitas instead of doing a turkey for Thanksgiving, or potentially missing a World Cup quarterfinal match in favor of sleep, to reveal your vulnerabilites and convince you to trust, listen and compromise. It can be a wild ride. But I say all this as someone whose first spouse was from the same background as myself. My current happy husband and I figured out from the first five minutes how to have a meaningful conversation when neither one of us was quite altogether speaking the same language as the other, identify what was vitally important each to the other, and come up together with what to do.
How many people are married thirty years to someone feeling like the other person has never really listened to or understood them. This is most likely due to the fact that I came here as a college exchange student at 17 and never left. I have now been in the US longer than my native country so I essentially did all my adult growing up here and feel most comfortable here in the US.
I actually feel like a foreigner in my native country. As far as family vacations go, it is very true but this applies to a lot of Americans as well. I have 2 stepdaughters who moved to the East Coast when they were 8 and Until recently they are now in college we would go out and visit them several times a year as well or they would come to be with us. I think that in a country as big as the US it is not uncommon for families to visit family during their time off.
It certainly is the case for us for both US and European family. In case of divorce it luckily would not be an issue with our daughter. It is very unlikely that I will ever move back to my native country. This again goes back to basically doing all of my growing up here and getting my education here and having all my retirement and assets here.
My family really is not either. My sister could do it but I would not want to uproot my daughter to another country if something happened to us. Financially it would be a nightmare as well all the assets and inheritance that would be used to take care if her would be in the US. I would not want to saddle my stepdaughters with the responsibility of raising a young child at this point in their lives. In a few more years they would be happy to take on that responsibility however. Had my in laws been a lot younger and us too :- this would probably not been as big an issue.
In the mean time we have to figure out which friend to ask about potential guardianship which is easier said than done. I think there is a lot of truth to all the statements made here but I think there are also a lot of variables. I started out living in th Netherlands, but found it very different to acclimate. In the beginning when I lived in the Netherlands, it was new and exciting.
We decided to live apart, allowing me to build a foundation for us in the US, while worked on paying obligated debts. He suppose to merge his life with me in the US. I love the food in the Netherlands than the US. I hate politics and patriotism of the US. The Euroeans are much more respectful of one needing the security of income. If I continue the pain of missing my husband, that I would go back to him and just fully embrace the lifestyle. Am Ugandan aged 32 still single hoping for this marriage. Even singles who once had their hearts placed find it difficult to settle if factors like you have derive them to distancing.
Biblically, there will never be straight life. Only keep a forward sight in everything. BOTH of us are foreigners. We both have extremely different backgrounds in culture, religion, food, family and even our Spanish! There is still something in our accents that makes things confusing or even frustrating at times…. However, we make it work and just learn from each other daily…or end up laughing… We have plans, we travel, we have goals.
Knowing we are meant for each other is an added plus. My family only speak spanish and her family only speak german, plus our friends who only speak english. Added is the fact that my family a large one! Finally, a post that talks about some of the challenging aspects of intercultural marriage!
Thanks for writing this, Corey, and for initiating the conversation. I agree with all your points on your list and, while I also agree that some same-culture couples also struggle, I do think it takes more work to navigate these issues in a mixed culture relationship. You know, like listening to the Beach Boys in the car on a summer day.
Here, Here! They will live a life of hell. Hi there! My husband is the only child and besides his parents, has no family in the US. Now I am pregnant with our 2nd child, leave in a different country with no friends or family around is difficult, I loved the post. All very good points. I am German and my husband is American and we live near Boston.
I moved here 10 years ago and it still feels like I am the foreigner and he is at home. This sometimes leads to feelings of resentment, especially around the holidays when we spend time with his family and I miss out on my own personal experience. The risks are higher and you start out with a whole additional package of potential problems. We are going to France For Christmas. We talk about marriage and I would love to Marry him.
If my future and I move to France, I will celebrate Thanksgiving, and bring new traditions with me. Reading your post made sad. Grow up. Grow up?? But maybe the article was annoying to you because it speaks truth. No one is going to tell you not to marry a foreigner. But just stating the facts. I am afraid that everything about this list is true. My ethnicity is Asian however am quiet assimilated to the Australian culture which is also a mix of various cultures. I have slept with numerous Australian guys but have dated an Austrian and now currently dating an Armenian.
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Even though we have some similarities — lack of faith, music tastes, all quiet geeky, our culture seems to be this continuous gap. With myself, even though I am Asian I consider myself more Australian and my Austrian, when we were dating, would have some stereotypes about me, for example he emailed me this news article link about what some country villagers did!! I also dated an Australia who is a TCK Third Culture Kid and he would be jumping continents for work or for family reasons and during the times overseas would barely contact me because he was busy but when he and I are in the same country, he would have time.
But I honestly would rather have this than facing someone from a culture who has had a history past or current of thinking that they own the world! There really needs to be a support group for foreign marriages. Now I live in fear of divorce and losing my kids. But sadly, a point may come where I have no choice in the matter and while my kids really are my reason for living, I can never imagine trying to take them away from their mother.
If our marriage ends, I lose the 2 greatest things in my life…possibly having them move thousands of miles away with no way to have them in my life. You can seemingly do everything right and still run up against mental illness and depression that poisons the situation…or sometimes the love just dies no matter what you try. That can happen in any relationship, but in an international marriage with kids, its most devastating.
Its like feeling your heart cut out again and again. Its hard to describe the pain except that it is sickeningly painful. John, that is sad. Take a deep breath and forget divorce for a minute, no matter what your wife is saying. Now, she is suffering from depression — is she getting help? Cognitive behaviour therapy? You are their dad and they need you regardless of what happens. Now, I met a lovely Finnish man in Cambodia once — his first wife a Finn had a depressive breakdown and eventually they divorced.
He then was working in Asia alot and met a Thai lady who moved to finland for him and experienced the snow! He was much happier with her. Make sure you get your support network together where you are — your own friends and keep exercising and eating good food and see a marriage counsellor if you need to. Hi John I read your post and it made me feel very sad however I can so relate to your pain and what is happening for you at this time. I am also married to a foreigner and living in my husbands country of Canada also with our 2 children.
I have struggled with the move and find the cold long winters extremely challenging. I am feeling more settled now I finally have permanent residence status and can finally work and be independent again. However I am often very sad and wonder if it is depression or just a deep longing for home. My husband is very accommodating and tries to be supportive but its always challenging trying to be positive and to keep up happy appearances. He says he will go back to New Zealand with me although I know he is over living there and says there is nothing for him there and that he also feels like an outsider.
I have started feeling resentment towards him for this whole situation — it is just so tricky and so painful to bear at times. I would love to hear an update from you and see how things have progressed. I am at a transition right now where I need to make some big decisions of selling property at home and moving on and feel I just need clarity on what steps to take next. I hope you have had a happy outcome with your family and all is well in your world.
I wonder how you are doing now? I feel very similar to what you write about. My husband always wanted to come back to Canada so 2 years ago we moved here with our children. The only problem is that I long to be home with my family and friends and miss our life from Australia. These posts are ringing so true, my Canadian husband lived in London for 12 years and all our children were born here. Then after he was always missing home I agreed to move to Toronto.
The last 8 years have been such hard years. Worst of all I trained as a teacher and all the Canadians are leaving for the UK. So now I am living alone in London for a year teaching while my husband is taking care of our 3 children. Here is home I love living here but all my children resisted moving back and my husband made it easy for them to stay.
So my advice would be to very carefully consider moving, especially if you are older, I was I have never loved Canada and now as the kids get older I am more homesick than ever. So I am going back in July and visiting every holiday but it is hard and my youngest is I see many differencies in culrure and idiosyncrasies, the way I can have a conversation with an English person is so different from here and actually Argentina, South America is so much alike Europe than North America. What did you decide to do? My wife is german and im a kiwi.
Pretty rough at times but for a happy life we need to state two things in our minds. We recently celebrated our one year anniversary. We are of two different nationality, culture and ethnicity. Sometimes I feel like I made the wrong choice and wish I had never married. To this day, the thought of divorce crosses my mind every few days.
I just read your comment to a post about reasons to not marry a foreign and I could relate to you. I am Brazilian Japanese, was born and raised in Brazil and my asian roots are very strong. I am in a long relationship with my Swedish boyfriend and i do think he is the one. My problem is that i went to visit his family in Sweden just recently.
Here in Brazil I live in a traditional Okinawan neighborhood and so much close to the culture of my relatives hometown in Japan. I missed this when i was in Sweden for 3 weeks. Not just being far from my family, but not having the community around and all the traditions, I felt very homesick and worried about my future if I move to Sweden. I was just wondering how is your relationship going with your foreign partner.
How diffucult it is. If it is working or you really gave up. Corey and all the people who have posted comments have made some excellent points here. This situation led me to grow up in Puerto Rico, Denmark, and the United States during the first twenty-three years of my life. I have witnessed every one of the ten points that Corey raises in the post except for 7 if it ever was an issue it was always kept from the kids.
For instance, for my Danish father, Christmas always meant a quiet celebration with snow, rain, and candles in the window, so for him, Christmas in Puerto Rico — where it is hot and celebrations last a month and are rather noisy and loud — never truly felt the same. For my mother, the taciturn and distant Scandinavian disposition was cold, impersonal, and unfriendly.
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Both of my parents came from tight-knit families, so constantly being far from one side of the family was difficult, and as a result I never formed close relationships with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and to this day I still feel shy around them. Nevertheless, I think certain elements can affect the success of an international marriage.
For instance, upon moving to the United States, neither my father nor my mother had any relatives in the country, which was a departure from having previously lived in Puerto Rico and Denmark. I also believe that humility is very important, especially in learning the local language. For instance, my father was not afraid to look silly in stores in Puerto Rico, and if he could not communicate in Spanish, he would resort to sign language, funny faces, etc. It generated laughs and blushes from me , but it worked for him. I also think that another key element is trying to maintain traditions from both sides of the family in the home, even in a modified form.
International marriages also have important consequences for the children of such relationships. First and foremost, there can be strong identity issues. For instance, my Puerto Rican family always viewed me as Danish, but the Danes swore that I was not truly one of them because fifty percent of me came from Latin America. The most interesting aspect is how each couple chooses to go about addressing these issues. I know what you mean by identity issues. I myself am a half German half Dutch that lived in The Netherlands all my live but because my German mother did all of my upbringing i felt like a stranger in the Dutch culture, even when the Dutch and German cultures are not that differand if you compare it to other cultures all over the world.
I did not know why i felt differand for a long time Also in my case the Dutch familie sayed i am German and the German familie feels that i am Dutch. I vowed to never do this to my children but… now i am married to an Ethiopian. I dont have children jet but i feel sorry for them if i think of having children even when i know that my husband will be an amazing father to them. Not growing up with expanded familie can be hard to, expressly when you see that grandparents feel more comfortable around those grandchildren that they see the whole year. Ofcaurse they have a better bond with them but it still hurts sometimes.
An other problem will be the languish of our children… I am used to use both German and Dutch at home because of that somethings are better told in one of the two. And my husband ofcause wishes to be able to talk Amhairc with them but they will also need to learn Englisch. I have been thinking about choosing between German and Dutch but than i will not be able to express myself fully to them. I think this post serves as an example that international marriages can produce well adjusted, thoughtful and intelligent children. Thanks for the post. He came to the US for aviation school 2 years ago.
Otherwise he has to move back to germany. Its very unlikely our familes will both attend our wedding because planes tickets are so expensive. However That is only one day in our life together. My sweet German sauerkraut took me to germany to meet his wonderful family and travel his country last summer and a surprise trip home with him for Christmas! I like what the kiwi said we live a hard but intresting life. Never boring. You could celebrate your marriage two times like i did. That is why we decided to celebrate in Ethiopia with his familie and friends and than again in Europa.
Americans, at least those not from the larger and more multicultural cities, tend to be very provincial. With all the pressure for flag-waving church-going conformity, any American typically would like to watch the same sitcoms, eat the same fast food, and do the same things overall as every other American. Why then do so many marry foreigners? Is it out of a suddenly-found cosmopolitan or inclusive attitude that pops up in enlightened individuals, or is the key element simple desperation?
Me from Prague , my wife from Istanbul and our baby-girl living in Prague. All points listed up there are truth. Even more complicated situations — so many questions, many of them can not be answered or solved. Many times I have asked myself, if this is really worth it. After nine years of chess everything worked out. And after all we went through I feel like it is some joke.
It is my brother, which lives just next door. He used to be kind of guy, which lived rebel life — drinking and plenty of different girls — some of them drunk been even knocking at our doors. Yet, he have suddenly changed, found himself some girl and after months she have got pregnant with him and now he would like to make big line behind his previous life. He it is still that kind of way ignorant, though it is in somehow acceptable — noone is perfect. And that is where comes another problem, whenever I try to speak with my brother — there is problem, but if I try to speak to his girlfriend — there is fire on the roof.
So I am speaking time to time once a month or so with them and keep Eye on my nephew — which will never really see his uncle. And this is some big heart-breaking issue, which I do not really know how to take care of.grupoavigase.com/includes/211/1124-citas-por-internet.php
10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Marry a Foreigner (Like I Did)
I love my wife, yet I know she is very ignorant in some things. There is no middle way at this point. If we lived in some other country — it would have been probably more easy. Because of the baby-girl and economic part — this is almost impossible. So, when people say, that it is difficult to live in country of the other, it is not always truth. There is nothing worst, when you living next to your brother and you can not speak to him without direct argument wife your wife.
Everytime this happends, i feel like to take my MTB and just go off cliff. How many times I can stand this before I do something stupid? I do not know.. All I can say is, get over yourselves! No one is guaranteed a successful marriage. Language issues can be cercone by working on it, for goodness sake! Thanksgiving we just make ou favorite foods and give thanks, which is the point. And you can find turkey in Germany, as well as people celebrating Thanksgiving American style. Man up! But I think you have been incredibly lucky with the man you happened to find.
Not everyone has such a straightforward ride, as many of these articles reveal. Empathy costs nothing. Yes, there are various reasons that we should not marry a foreigner. If you do this then you ahve to face lots of difficulties like tradition change, religion change, long distances from family members etc.
It is very difficult to understand a person that do not belongs to our caste, religion, country etc. Our children will also face lots of difficulties from this type of marriage. Thanks for sharing this post. This is very true. He has helped me make our house a home, and I feel very comfortable and at home here. I do miss my family, but not so much my country, and we are planning on staying, and raising our daughter here in the Pacific Northwest.
Now divorced- too tough as we had properties in Ethiopia too. Thank God we did not have children. Due to my job Media had a chance to travel to many countries and I love and respect other cultures and fit in easily. My ex never wanted to experiance other culture- which is unlike me.
Never wanted to go out doors- only luxury semi luxury hotels. Me total rough traveler. Her family live in US and Africa. How can poor me fit my life, visiting family mainly hers and living in london in good balance? I could not and was ended with regrets. Yes international marriage has big big challenges.
The only reward I would say is the new friends I made during the marriage. I met him in Dubai he is PakistanI I am Turkish…we got married very difficult due to his parents not accepting me…now his parents want to have their own traditional wedding. Hi isena, Sad to hear ur in such a difficult situation. I know a Turkish girl who want to marry a Pakistani, there is no difference in religion as they are both Muslim.
But what is the reason he is not giving baby? Are u living in Pakistan while ur family is in turkey?
Married or…Merry: 40+1 Reasons Not to Get Married!!
Thank you for the article. I have 4 kids, my hubby travels internationally 30 to 40 percent each year, so I often feel like a single mom. We attend a church his parents started and attend, including his two sisters and their family. It has not been easy but my husband was the one for me. I wanted to do missions work, but not in this country and not with my in-laws, this is not what I thought. Looking back on these years, I can absolutely understand each point in your article, but each point I experienced with the help of my Best Friend.
I have a deeper appreciation for what Christ did for me, leaving his perfect, comfortable place, to live a life full of difficulty for me out of love. All be it, I have not been persecuted, I have felt like the outsider, even to my husband and his family while living in this country. But it gives an opportunity to be a light even more that I would have been in the good old USA. The title to this article is a bit strong, but the points were right on the dot.
Well, my husband is French and we do just fine. I was, however, with an Israeli guy for a few years before I met my husband and you wanna talk about cultural problems?! I lived with him in Israel and he and his family ran my entire life for me. Yes, I think sometimes, it can be a bad thing!! Just gotta find the right and sane guy and all will be well!! Finally someone who has the courage the say these things out loud. I wish I had more sense and someone told me all this 4 years ago. We are now engaged, living in a third country where we met , and at cross roads where to go next.
In all cases, the second marriage is considered legally null and void. Besides the second and subsequent marriages being void, the bigamist is also liable to other penalties, which also vary between jurisdictions. Governments that support monogamy may allow easy divorce.
Those who remarry do so on average three times. Divorce and remarriage can thus result in "serial monogamy", i. This can be interpreted as a form of plural mating, as are those societies dominated by female-headed families in the Caribbean , Mauritius and Brazil where there is frequent rotation of unmarried partners.
Serial monogamy creates a new kind of relative, the "ex-". The "ex-wife", for example, remains an active part of her "ex-husband's" or "ex-wife's" life, as they may be tied together by transfers of resources alimony, child support , or shared child custody. Bob Simpson notes that in the British case, serial monogamy creates an "extended family" — a number of households tied together in this way, including mobile children possible exes may include an ex-wife, an ex-brother-in-law, etc.
These "unclear families" do not fit the mould of the monogamous nuclear family. As a series of connected households, they come to resemble the polygynous model of separate households maintained by mothers with children, tied by a male to whom they are married or divorced. Polygamy is a marriage which includes more than two partners. If a marriage includes multiple husbands or wives, it can be called group marriage. A molecular genetic study of global human genetic diversity argued that sexual polygyny was typical of human reproductive patterns until the shift to sedentary farming communities approximately 10, to 5, years ago in Europe and Asia, and more recently in Africa and the Americas.
Marriages are classified according to the number of legal spouses an individual has. The suffix "-gamy" refers specifically to the number of spouses, as in bi-gamy two spouses, generally illegal in most nations , and poly-gamy more than one spouse. Societies show variable acceptance of polygamy as a cultural ideal and practice. According to the Ethnographic Atlas , of 1, societies noted, were monogamous; had occasional polygyny; had more frequent polygyny; and 4 had polyandry. The actual practice of polygamy in a tolerant society may actually be low, with the majority of aspirant polygamists practicing monogamous marriage.
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Tracking the occurrence of polygamy is further complicated in jurisdictions where it has been banned, but continues to be practiced de facto polygamy. Zeitzen also notes that Western perceptions of African society and marriage patterns are biased by "contradictory concerns of nostalgia for traditional African culture versus critique of polygamy as oppressive to women or detrimental to development.
The vast majority of the world's countries, including virtually all of the world's developed nations, do not permit polygamy. There have been calls for the abolition of polygamy in developing countries. Polygyny usually grants wives equal status, although the husband may have personal preferences. One type of de facto polygyny is concubinage , where only one woman gets a wife's rights and status, while other women remain legal house mistresses.
Although a society may be classified as polygynous, not all marriages in it necessarily are; monogamous marriages may in fact predominate. It is to this flexibility that Anthropologist Robin Fox attributes its success as a social support system: "This has often meant — given the imbalance in the sex ratios, the higher male infant mortality, the shorter life span of males, the loss of males in wartime, etc.
To correct this condition, females had to be killed at birth, remain single, become prostitutes, or be siphoned off into celibate religious orders. Polygynous systems have the advantage that they can promise, as did the Mormons, a home and family for every woman. Nonetheless, polygyny is a gender issue which offers men asymmetrical benefits. In some cases, there is a large age discrepancy as much as a generation between a man and his youngest wife, compounding the power differential between the two.
Tensions not only exist between genders, but also within genders; senior and junior men compete for wives, and senior and junior wives in the same household may experience radically different life conditions, and internal hierarchy. Several studies have suggested that the wive's relationship with other women, including co-wives and husband's female kin, are more critical relationships than that with her husband for her productive, reproductive and personal achievement. Fox argues that "the major difference between polygyny and monogamy could be stated thus: while plural mating occurs in both systems, under polygyny several unions may be recognized as being legal marriages while under monogamy only one of the unions is so recognized.
Often, however, it is difficult to draw a hard and fast line between the two. As polygamy in Africa is increasingly subject to legal limitations, a variant form of de facto as opposed to legal or de jure polygyny is being practised in urban centres. Although it does not involve multiple now illegal formal marriages, the domestic and personal arrangements follow old polygynous patterns. The de facto form of polygyny is found in other parts of the world as well including some Mormon sects and Muslim families in the United States.
This is not a lesbian relationship, but a means of legitimately expanding a royal lineage by attaching these wives' children to it. The relationships are considered polygynous, not polyandrous, because the female husband is in fact assuming masculine gendered political roles. Religious groups have differing views on the legitimacy of polygyny. It is allowed in Islam and Confucianism. Judaism and Christianity have mentioned practices involving polygyny in the past, however, outright religious acceptance of such practices was not addressed until its rejection in later passages. They do explicitly prohibit polygyny today.
Polyandry is notably more rare than polygyny, though less rare than the figure commonly cited in the Ethnographic Atlas which listed only those polyandrous societies found in the Himalayan Mountains. More recent studies have found 53 societies outside the 28 found in the Himalayans which practice polyandry. It is associated with partible paternity , the cultural belief that a child can have more than one father.
The explanation for polyandry in the Himalayan Mountains is related to the scarcity of land; the marriage of all brothers in a family to the same wife fraternal polyandry allows family land to remain intact and undivided. If every brother married separately and had children, family land would be split into unsustainable small plots. In Europe, this was prevented through the social practice of impartible inheritance the dis-inheriting of most siblings, some of whom went on to become celibate monks and priests.
Group marriage also known as multi-lateral marriage is a form of polyamory in which more than two persons form a family unit, with all the members of the group marriage being considered to be married to all the other members of the group marriage, and all members of the marriage share parental responsibility for any children arising from the marriage.
Of the societies reported by the American anthropologist George Murdock in , only the Kaingang of Brazil had any group marriages at all. A child marriage is a marriage where one or both spouses are under the age of Child marriage was common throughout history, even up until the s in the United States, where in CE, in the state of Delaware , the age of consent for marriage was 7 years old. Child marriages can also occur in the context of bride kidnapping.
Twelve years later, in , John filed for divorce. While child marriage is observed for both boys and girls, the overwhelming majority of child spouses are girls. Today, child marriages are widespread in parts of the world; being most common in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa , with more than half of the girls in some countries in those regions being married before In developed countries child marriage is outlawed or restricted.
Girls who marry before 18 are at greater risk of becoming victims of domestic violence , than those who marry later, especially when they are married to a much older man. Several kinds of same-sex marriages have been documented in Indigenous and lineage-based cultures. In the Americas, We'wha Zuni , was a lhamana male individuals who, at least some of the time, dress and live in the roles usually filled by women in that culture ; a respected artist, We'wha served as an emissary of the Zuni to Washington, where he met President Grover Cleveland.
While it is a relatively new practice to grant same-sex couples the same form of legal marital recognition as commonly granted to mixed-sex couples, there is some history of recorded same-sex unions around the world. The Codex Theodosianus C. Several cultures have practiced temporary and conditional marriages. Examples include the Celtic practice of handfasting and fixed-term marriages in the Muslim community. The Islamic prophet Muhammad sanctioned a temporary marriage — sigheh in Iran and muta'a in Iraq — which can provide a legitimizing cover for sex workers.
The matrilineal Mosuo of China practice what they call "walking marriage". In some jurisdictions cohabitation , in certain circumstances, may constitute a common-law marriage , an unregistered partnership , or otherwise provide the unmarried partners with various rights and responsibilities; and in some countries the laws recognize cohabitation in lieu of institutional marriage for taxation and social security benefits.
This is the case, for example, in Australia. However, in this context, some nations reserve the right to define the relationship as marital, or otherwise to regulate the relation, even if the relation has not been registered with the state or a religious institution. Conversely, institutionalized marriages may not involve cohabitation.
In some cases couples living together do not wish to be recognized as married. This may occur because pension or alimony rights are adversely affected; because of taxation considerations; because of immigration issues, or for other reasons. Such marriages have also been increasingly common in Beijing. Guo Jianmei, director of the center for women's studies at Beijing University, told a Newsday correspondent, "Walking marriages reflect sweeping changes in Chinese society.
There is wide cross-cultural variation in the social rules governing the selection of a partner for marriage. There is variation in the degree to which partner selection is an individual decision by the partners or a collective decision by the partners' kin groups, and there is variation in the rules regulating which partners are valid choices.
In other cultures with less strict rules governing the groups from which a partner can be chosen the selection of a marriage partner may involve either the couple going through a selection process of courtship or the marriage may be arranged by the couple's parents or an outside party, a matchmaker.
Some people want to marry a person with higher or lower status than them. Others want to marry people who have similar status.
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In many societies women marry men who are of higher social status. There are other marriages in which the man is older than the woman. Societies have often placed restrictions on marriage to relatives, though the degree of prohibited relationship varies widely. Marriages between parents and children, or between full siblings, with few exceptions,         have been considered incest and forbidden.
Specifics vary: in South Korea, historically it was illegal to marry someone with the same last name and same ancestral line. An Avunculate marriage is a marriage that occurs between an uncle and his niece or between an aunt and her nephew. Such marriages are illegal in most countries due to incest restrictions. However, a small number of countries have legalized it, including Argentina, Australia, Austria, Malaysia ,  and Russia. In various societies the choice of partner is often limited to suitable persons from specific social groups.
In some societies the rule is that a partner is selected from an individual's own social group — endogamy , this is often the case in class- and caste-based societies. But in other societies a partner must be chosen from a different group than one's own — exogamy , this may be the case in societies practicing totemic religion where society is divided into several exogamous totemic clans, such as most Aboriginal Australian societies.
In other societies a person is expected to marry their cross-cousin , a woman must marry her father's sister's son and a man must marry his mother's brother's daughter — this is often the case if either a society has a rule of tracing kinship exclusively through patrilineal or matrilineal descent groups as among the Akan people of West Africa. Another kind of marriage selection is the levirate marriage in which widows are obligated to marry their husband's brother, mostly found in societies where kinship is based on endogamous clan groups.
Religion has commonly weighed in on the matter of which relatives, if any, are allowed to marry. Relations may be by consanguinity or affinity , meaning by blood or by marriage. On the marriage of cousins, Catholic policy has evolved from initial acceptance, through a long period of general prohibition, to the contemporary requirement for a dispensation. In a wide array of lineage-based societies with a classificatory kinship system , potential spouses are sought from a specific class of relative as determined by a prescriptive marriage rule.
This rule may be expressed by anthropologists using a "descriptive" kinship term, such as a "man's mother's brother's daughter" also known as a "cross-cousin". Such descriptive rules mask the participant's perspective: a man should marry a woman from his mother's lineage. Within the society's kinship terminology, such relatives are usually indicated by a specific term which sets them apart as potentially marriageable. Pierre Bourdieu notes, however, that very few marriages ever follow the rule, and that when they do so, it is for "practical kinship" reasons such as the preservation of family property, rather than the "official kinship" ideology.
Insofar as regular marriages following prescriptive rules occur, lineages are linked together in fixed relationships; these ties between lineages may form political alliances in kinship dominated societies. A pragmatic or 'arranged' marriage is made easier by formal procedures of family or group politics. A responsible authority sets up or encourages the marriage; they may, indeed, engage a professional matchmaker to find a suitable spouse for an unmarried person. The authority figure could be parents, family, a religious official, or a group consensus.
In some cases, the authority figure may choose a match for purposes other than marital harmony. A forced marriage is a marriage in which one or both of the parties is married against their will. Forced marriages continue to be practiced in parts of the world, especially in South Asia and Africa. The customs of bride price and dowry , that exist in parts of the world, can lead to buying and selling people into marriage. In some societies, ranging from Central Asia to the Caucasus to Africa, the custom of bride kidnapping still exists, in which a woman is captured by a man and his friends.
Sometimes this covers an elopement , but sometimes it depends on sexual violence. In previous times, raptio was a larger-scale version of this, with groups of women captured by groups of men, sometimes in war; the most famous example is The Rape of the Sabine Women , which provided the first citizens of Rome with their wives. Other marriage partners are more or less imposed on an individual. For example, widow inheritance provides a widow with another man from her late husband's brothers. In rural areas of India, child marriage is practiced, with parents often arranging the wedding, sometimes even before the child is born.
In some cultures, dowries and bridewealth continue to be required today. In both cases, the financial arrangements are usually made between the groom or his family and the bride's family; with the bride often not being involved in the negotiations, and often not having a choice in whether to participate in the marriage.
In Early modern Britain , the social status of the couple was supposed to be equal. After the marriage, all the property called "fortune" and expected inheritances of the wife belonged to the husband. A dowry is "a process whereby parental property is distributed to a daughter at her marriage i. This fund ensures her support or endowment in widowhood and eventually goes to provide for her sons and daughters. In some cultures, especially in countries such as Turkey , India , Bangladesh , Pakistan , Sri Lanka , Morocco , Nepal , dowries continue to be expected.
In India, thousands of dowry-related deaths have taken place on yearly basis,   to counter this problem, several jurisdictions have enacted laws restricting or banning dowry see Dowry law in India. In Nepal, dowry was made illegal in Direct Dowry contrasts with bridewealth , which is paid by the groom or his family to the bride's parents, and with indirect dowry or dower , which is property given to the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage and which remains under her ownership and control.
In the Jewish tradition, the rabbis in ancient times insisted on the marriage couple entering into a prenuptial agreement , called a ketubah. Besides other things, the ketubah provided for an amount to be paid by the husband in the event of a divorce or his estate in the event of his death. This amount was a replacement of the biblical dower or bride price , which was payable at the time of the marriage by the groom to the father of the bride. So, to enable these young men to marry, the rabbis, in effect, delayed the time that the amount would be payable, when they would be more likely to have the sum.
It may also be noted that both the dower and the ketubah amounts served the same purpose: the protection for the wife should her support cease, either by death or divorce. The only difference between the two systems was the timing of the payment. It is the predecessor to the wife's present-day entitlement to maintenance in the event of the breakup of marriage, and family maintenance in the event of the husband not providing adequately for the wife in his will.
Another function performed by the ketubah amount was to provide a disincentive for the husband contemplating divorcing his wife: he would need to have the amount to be able to pay to the wife. Morning gifts , which might also be arranged by the bride's father rather than the bride, are given to the bride herself; the name derives from the Germanic tribal custom of giving them the morning after the wedding night. She might have control of this morning gift during the lifetime of her husband, but is entitled to it when widowed.
If the amount of her inheritance is settled by law rather than agreement, it may be called dower. Depending on legal systems and the exact arrangement, she may not be entitled to dispose of it after her death, and may lose the property if she remarries. Morning gifts were preserved for centuries in morganatic marriage , a union where the wife's inferior social status was held to prohibit her children from inheriting a noble's titles or estates.
In this case, the morning gift would support the wife and children. Another legal provision for widowhood was jointure , in which property, often land, would be held in joint tenancy, so that it would automatically go to the widow on her husband's death. Islamic tradition has similar practices.
A ' mahr ', either immediate or deferred, is the woman's portion of the groom's wealth divorce or estate death. These amounts are usually set on the basis of the groom's own and family wealth and incomes, but in some parts these are set very high so as to provide a disincentive for the groom exercising the divorce, or the husband's family 'inheriting' a large portion of the estate, especially if there are no male offspring from the marriage.
If the husband cannot pay the mahr , either in case of a divorce or on demand, according to the current laws in Iran, he will have to pay it by installments. Failure to pay the mahr might even lead to imprisonment. It is also known as brideprice although this has fallen in disfavor as it implies the purchase of the bride. Bridewealth is the amount of money or property or wealth paid by the groom or his family to the parents of a woman upon the marriage of their daughter to the groom.
In anthropological literature, bride price has often been explained as payment made to compensate the bride's family for the loss of her labor and fertility. In some cases, bridewealth is a means by which the groom's family's ties to the children of the union are recognized. In some countries a married person or couple benefits from various taxation advantages not available to a single person.
For example, spouses may be allowed to average their combined incomes. This is advantageous to a married couple with disparate incomes. To compensate for this, countries may provide a higher tax bracket for the averaged income of a married couple. While income averaging might still benefit a married couple with a stay-at-home spouse, such averaging would cause a married couple with roughly equal personal incomes to pay more total tax than they would as two single persons. In the United States, this is called the marriage penalty. When the rates applied by the tax code are not based income averaging, but rather on the sum of individuals' incomes, higher rates will usually apply to each individual in a two-earner households in a progressive tax systems.
This is most often the case with high-income taxpayers and is another situation called a marriage penalty. Conversely, when progressive tax is levied on the individual with no consideration for the partnership, dual-income couples fare much better than single-income couples with similar household incomes. The effect can be increased when the welfare system treats the same income as a shared income thereby denying welfare access to the non-earning spouse. Such systems apply in Australia and Canada, for example. In many Western cultures, marriage usually leads to the formation of a new household comprising the married couple, with the married couple living together in the same home, often sharing the same bed, but in some other cultures this is not the tradition.
In these cases, married couples may not form an independent household, but remain part of an extended family household. Early theories explaining the determinants of postmarital residence  connected it with the sexual division of labor. However, to date, cross-cultural tests of this hypothesis using worldwide samples have failed to find any significant relationship between these two variables. However, Korotayev 's tests show that the female contribution to subsistence does correlate significantly with matrilocal residence in general.
However, this correlation is masked by a general polygyny factor. Although, in different-sex marriages, an increase in the female contribution to subsistence tends to lead to matrilocal residence, it also tends simultaneously to lead to general non-sororal polygyny which effectively destroys matrilocality. If this polygyny factor is controlled e. Thus, Murdock's hypotheses regarding the relationships between the sexual division of labor and postmarital residence were basically correct, though  the actual relationships between those two groups of variables are more complicated than he expected.
There has been a trend toward the neolocal residence in western societies. Marriage laws refer to the legal requirements which determine the validity of a marriage, which vary considerably between countries. A marriage bestows rights and obligations on the married parties, and sometimes on relatives as well, being the sole mechanism for the creation of affinal ties in-laws. These may include, depending on jurisdiction:. These rights and obligations vary considerably between societies, and between groups within society.
In many countries today, each marriage partner has the choice of keeping his or her property separate or combining properties. In the latter case, called community property , when the marriage ends by divorce each owns half. In lieu of a will or trust , property owned by the deceased generally is inherited by the surviving spouse.
In some legal systems, the partners in a marriage are "jointly liable" for the debts of the marriage. This has a basis in a traditional legal notion called the "Doctrine of Necessities" whereby, in a heterosexual marriage, a husband was responsible to provide necessary things for his wife. Where this is the case, one partner may be sued to collect a debt for which they did not expressly contract.
Critics of this practice note that debt collection agencies can abuse this by claiming an unreasonably wide range of debts to be expenses of the marriage. The cost of defense and the burden of proof is then placed on the non-contracting party to prove that the expense is not a debt of the family. The respective maintenance obligations, both during and eventually after a marriage, are regulated in most jurisdictions ; alimony is one such method. Marriage is an institution that is historically filled with restrictions. From age, to race, to social status, to consanguinity , to gender, restrictions are placed on marriage by society for reasons of benefiting the children, passing on healthy genes, maintaining cultural values, or because of prejudice and fear.
Almost all cultures that recognize marriage also recognize adultery as a violation of the terms of marriage. Most jurisdictions set a minimum age for marriage , that is, a person must attain a certain age to be legally allowed to marry. Although most age restrictions are in place in order to prevent children from being forced into marriages, especially to much older partners — marriages which can have negative education and health related consequences, and lead to child sexual abuse and other forms of violence  — such child marriages remain common in parts of the world.
To prohibit incest and eugenic reasons, marriage laws have set restrictions for relatives to marry. Direct blood relatives are usually prohibited to marry, while for branch line relatives, laws are wary. Laws banning "race-mixing" were enforced in certain North American jurisdictions from  until , in Nazi Germany The Nuremberg Laws from until , and in South Africa during most part of the Apartheid era — All these laws primarily banned marriage between persons of different racially or ethnically defined groups, which was termed "amalgamation" or "miscegenation" in the U.
The laws in Nazi Germany and many of the U. In the United States, laws in some but not all of the states prohibited the marriage of whites and blacks, and in many states also the intermarriage of whites with Native Americans or Asians. From until , 30 out of the then 48 states enforced such laws. Virginia that anti-miscegenation laws are unconstitutional. With this ruling, these laws were no longer in effect in the remaining 16 states that still had them. The Nuremberg Laws classified Jews as a race and forbade marriage and extramarital sexual relations at first with people of Jewish descent, but was later ended to the "Gypsies, Negroes or their bastard offspring" and people of "German or related blood".
South Africa under apartheid also banned interracial marriage. The Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act, prohibited marriage between persons of different races, and the Immorality Act of made sexual relations with a person of a different race a crime. Additionally, Armenia , Estonia and Israel recognize the marriages of same-sex couples validly entered into in other countries.
Same-sex marriage is also due to soon become performed and recognized by law in Costa Rica and Taiwan. The introduction of same-sex marriage has varied by jurisdiction, being variously accomplished through legislative change to marriage law , a court ruling based on constitutional guarantees of equality, or by direct popular vote via ballot initiative or referendum. The recognition of same-sex marriage is considered to be a human right and a civil right as well as a political, social, and religious issue.
Various faith communities around the world support same-sex marriage, while many religious groups oppose it. Polls consistently show continually rising support for the recognition of same-sex marriage in all developed democracies and in some developing democracies.
The establishment of recognition in law for the marriages of same-sex couples is one of the most prominent objectives of the LGBT rights movement. Polygyny is widely practiced in mostly Muslim and African countries. In most other jurisdictions, polygamy is illegal. For example, In the United States, polygamy is illegal in all 50 states. In the lateth century, citizens of the self-governing territory of what is present-day Utah were forced by the United States federal government to abandon the practice of polygamy through the vigorous enforcement of several Acts of Congress , and eventually complied.
Several countries such as India and Sri Lanka,  permit only their Islamic citizens to practice polygamy. Some Indians have converted to Islam in order to bypass such legal restrictions. Myanmar frequently referred to as Burma is also the only predominantly Buddhist nation to allow for civil polygynous marriages, though such is rarely tolerated by the Burmese population. In various jurisdictions, a civil marriage may take place as part of the religious marriage ceremony, although they are theoretically distinct.
Some jurisdictions allow civil marriages in circumstances which are notably not allowed by particular religions, such as same-sex marriages or civil unions. The opposite case may happen as well. Partners may not have full juridical acting capacity and churches may have less strict limits than the civil jurisdictions.
This particularly applies to minimum age, or physical infirmities. It is possible for two people to be recognised as married by a religious or other institution, but not by the state, and hence without the legal rights and obligations of marriage; or to have a civil marriage deemed invalid and sinful by a religion. Similarly, a couple may remain married in religious eyes after a civil divorce. A marriage is usually formalized at a wedding or marriage ceremony.
The ceremony may be officiated either by a religious official, by a government official or by a state approved celebrant. In various European and some Latin American countries, any religious ceremony must be held separately from the required civil ceremony. Some countries — such as Belgium, Bulgaria , France, the Netherlands, Romania and Turkey  — require that a civil ceremony take place before any religious one. In some countries — notably the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, the Republic of Ireland , Norway and Spain — both ceremonies can be held together; the officiant at the religious and civil ceremony also serving as agent of the state to perform the civil ceremony.
To avoid any implication that the state is "recognizing" a religious marriage which is prohibited in some countries — the "civil" ceremony is said to be taking place at the same time as the religious ceremony. Often this involves simply signing a register during the religious ceremony. If the civil element of the religious ceremony is omitted, the marriage ceremony is not recognized as a marriage by government under the law.
Some countries, such as Australia, permit marriages to be held in private and at any location; others, including England and Wales , require that the civil ceremony be conducted in a place open to the public and specially sanctioned by law for the purpose. In England, the place of marriage formerly had to be a church or register office , but this was extended to any public venue with the necessary licence. An exception can be made in the case of marriage by special emergency license UK: licence , which is normally granted only when one of the parties is terminally ill.
Rules about where and when persons can marry vary from place to place. Some regulations require one of the parties to reside within the jurisdiction of the register office formerly parish. Each religious authority has rules for the manner in which marriages are to be conducted by their officials and members.
Where religious marriages are recognised by the state, the officiator must also conform with the law of the jurisdiction. In a small number of jurisdictions marriage relationships may be created by the operation of the law alone. A civil union , also referred to as a civil partnership , is a legally recognized form of partnership similar to marriage. Beginning with Denmark in , civil unions under one name or another have been established by law in several countries in order to provide same-sex couples rights , benefits, and responsibilities similar in some countries, identical to opposite-sex civil marriage.
Sometimes people marry to take advantage of a certain situation, sometimes called a marriage of convenience or a sham marriage. For example, according to one publisher of information about green card marriages , "Every year over , United States citizens marry foreign-born individuals and petition for them to obtain a permanent residency Green Card in the United States.
Regardless of the number of people entering the US to marry a US citizen, it does not indicate the number of these marriages that are convenience marriages, which number could include some of those with the motive of obtaining permanent residency, but also include people who are US citizens. One example would be to obtain an inheritance that has a marriage clause. Another example would be to save money on health insurance or to enter a health plan with preexisting conditions offered by the new spouse's employer.
Other situations exist, and, in fact, all marriages have a complex combination of conveniences motivating the parties to marry. A marriage of convenience is one that is devoid of normal reasons to marry. In certain countries like Singapore sham marriages like these are punishable criminal offences. People have proposed arguments against marriage for reasons that include political, philosophical and religious criticisms; concerns about the divorce rate ; individual liberty and gender equality; questioning the necessity of having a personal relationship sanctioned by government or religious authorities; or the promotion of celibacy for religious or philosophical reasons.
Feminist theory approaches opposite-sex marriage as an institution traditionally rooted in patriarchy that promotes male superiority and power over women. This power dynamic conceptualizes men as "the provider operating in the public sphere" and women as "the caregivers operating within the private sphere". The adultery of a woman was always treated with more severity than that of a man.
Numerous philosophers, feminists and other academic figures have commented on this throughout history, condemning the hypocrisy of legal and religious authorities in regard to sexual issues; pointing to the lack of choice of a woman in regard to controlling her own sexuality; and drawing parallels between marriage, an institution promoted as sacred, and prostitution , widely condemned and vilified though often tolerated as a " necessary evil ".
Mary Wollstonecraft , in the 18th century, described marriage as "legal prostitution". Some critics object to what they see as propaganda in relation to marriage — from the government, religious organizations, the media — which aggressively promote marriage as a solution for all social problems; such propaganda includes, for instance, marriage promotion in schools, where children, especially girls , are bombarded with positive information about marriage, being presented only with the information prepared by authorities. The performance of dominant gender roles by men and submissive gender roles by women influence the power dynamic of a heterosexual marriage.
Author bell hooks states "within the family structure, individuals learn to accept sexist oppression as 'natural' and are primed to support other forms of oppression, including heterosexist domination. In the US, studies have shown that, despite egalitarian ideals being common, less than half of respondents viewed their opposite-sex relationships as equal in power, with unequal relationships being more commonly dominated by the male partner. Different societies demonstrate variable tolerance of extramarital sex. The Standard Cross-Cultural Sample describes the occurrence of extramarital sex by gender in over 50 pre-industrial cultures.
The occurrence of extramarital sex by women is described as "universal" in 6 cultures, "moderate" in 23 cultures, "occasional" in 9 cultures, and "uncommon" in 15 cultures. Many of the world's major religions look with disfavor on sexual relations outside marriage. Adultery is considered in many jurisdictions to be a crime and grounds for divorce.
In some countries, such as Saudi Arabia, Pakistan,  Afghanistan,   Iran,  Kuwait,  Maldives,  Morocco,  Oman,  Mauritania,  United Arab Emirates,   Sudan,  Yemen,  any form of sexual activity outside marriage is illegal. In some parts of the world, women and girls accused of having sexual relations outside marriage are at risk of becoming victims of honor killings committed by their families. In Pakistan , after the Balochistan honour killings in which five women were killed by tribesmen of the Umrani Tribe of Balochistan , Pakistani Federal Minister for Postal Services Israr Ullah Zehri defended the practice; he said:  "These are centuries-old traditions, and I will continue to defend them.
Only those who indulge in immoral acts should be afraid. An issue that is a serious concern regarding marriage and which has been the object of international scrutiny is that of sexual violence within marriage. Throughout much of the history, in most cultures, sex in marriage was considered a 'right', that could be taken by force often by a man from a woman , if 'denied'. As the concept of human rights started to develop in the 20th century, and with the arrival of second-wave feminism , such views have become less widely held.
The legal and social concept of marital rape has developed in most industrialized countries in the mid- to late 20th century; in many other parts of the world it is not recognized as a form of abuse, socially or legally. Several countries in Eastern Europe and Scandinavia made marital rape illegal before , and other countries in Western Europe and the English-speaking Western world outlawed it in the s and s. In England and Wales , marital rape was made illegal in Although marital rape is being increasingly criminalized in developing countries too, cultural, religious, and traditional ideologies about "conjugal rights" remain very strong in many parts of the world; and even in many countries that have adequate laws against rape in marriage these laws are rarely enforced.
Apart from the issue of rape committed against one's spouse, marriage is, in many parts of the world, closely connected with other forms of sexual violence: in some places, like Morocco , unmarried girls and women who are raped are often forced by their families to marry their rapist.
Because being the victim of rape and losing virginity carry extreme social stigma, and the victims are deemed to have their "reputation" tarnished, a marriage with the rapist is arranged. This is claimed to be in the advantage of both the victim — who does not remain unmarried and doesn't lose social status — and of the rapist, who avoids punishment. In , after a Moroccan year-old girl committed suicide after having been forced by her family to marry her rapist and enduring further abuse by the rapist after they married, there have been protests from activists against this practice which is common in Morocco.
In some societies, the very high social and religious importance of marital fidelity, especially female fidelity, has as result the criminalization of adultery, often with harsh penalties such as stoning or flogging ; as well as leniency towards punishment of violence related to infidelity such as honor killings. A Joint Statement by the United Nations Working Group on discrimination against women in law and in practice states that "Adultery as a criminal offence violates women's human rights".
The laws surrounding heterosexual marriage in many countries have come under international scrutiny because they contradict international standards of human rights ; institutionalize violence against women , child marriage and forced marriage ; require the permission of a husband for his wife to work in a paid job, sign legal documents, file criminal charges against someone, sue in civil court etc.
Such things were legal even in many Western countries until recently: for instance, in France , married women obtained the right to work without their husband's permission in ,    and in West Germany women obtained this right in by comparison women in East Germany had many more rights. Throughout history, and still today in many countries, laws have provided for extenuating circumstances , partial or complete defenses, for men who killed their wives due to adultery, with such acts often being seen as crimes of passion and being covered by legal defenses such as provocation or defense of family honor.
While international law and conventions recognize the need for consent for entering a marriage — namely that people cannot be forced to get married against their will — the right to obtain a divorce is not recognized; therefore holding a person in a marriage against their will if such person has consented to entering in it is not considered a violation of human rights, with the issue of divorce being left at the appreciation of individual states. The European Court of Human Rights has repeatedly ruled that under the European Convention on Human Rights there is neither a right to apply to divorce, nor a right to obtain the divorce if applied for it; in , in Babiarz v.
Poland , the Court ruled that Poland was entitled to deny a divorce because the grounds for divorce were not met, even if the marriage in question was acknowledged both by Polish courts and by the ECHR as being a legal fiction involving a long-term separation where the husband lived with another woman with whom he had an year-old child. In the EU, the last country to allow divorce was Malta , in Around the world, the only countries to forbid divorce are Philippines and Vatican City ,  although in practice in many countries which use a fault-based divorce system obtaining a divorce is very difficult.
The ability to divorce, in law and practice, has been and continues to be a controversial issue in many countries, and public discourse involves different ideologies such as feminism, social conservatism, religious interpretations. In recent years, the customs of dowry and bride price have received international criticism for inciting conflicts between families and clans; contributing to violence against women ; promoting materialism; increasing property crimes where men steal goods such as cattle in order to be able to pay the bride price ; and making it difficult for poor people to marry.
African women's rights campaigners advocate the abolishing of bride price, which they argue is based on the idea that women are a form of property which can be bought. Historically, and still in many countries, children born outside marriage suffered severe social stigma and discrimination. In England and Wales, such children were known as bastards and whoresons. There are significant differences between world regions in regard to the social and legal position of non-marital births, ranging from being fully accepted and uncontroversial to being severely stigmatized and discriminated.
The European Convention on the Legal Status of Children Born out of Wedlock protects the rights of children born to unmarried parents. While in most Western countries legal inequalities between children born inside and outside marriage have largely been abolished, this is not the case in some parts of the world.
The legal status of an unmarried father differs greatly from country to country. Without voluntary formal recognition of the child by the father, in most cases there is a need of due process of law in order to establish paternity. In some countries however, unmarried cohabitation of a couple for a specific period of time does create a presumption of paternity similar to that of formal marriage. This is the case in Australia.
Related Married or... merry?: The International(?) Greek Book of Marriage, or 40+1 Reasons Not to Get Married!
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